So much has been happening in my life since my last blog post. I figured I would get more personal with this one. Things had truly been an uphill challenge from 2016 until the end of 2019. As the pandemic swarmed through humanity in 2020, it was actually then I begin to feel as though I can breathe again. The hypocrisy of it all as I reflect on it knowing what the virus did yet it was during this year my life began to shift. Facing days of uncertainty and not truly knowing will COVID decide to sink it’s teeth deep into the pits of your family dynamic can send an abrupt awakening to truly walk in your purpose because you never know if or when that day will come.
I truly began to love and appreciate life for what it was. I know we often say that but do we truly do it? I may have said it often but I wasn’t as strong in my walk as I truly am now. These days I accept who I am, where life takes me and what’s truly in alignment with my purpose. When we do these things it is then we are truly free. We no longer are a prisoner to the matrix so to speak. I really wake up everyday now doing what I want without a heart filled of fear and doubt. Only trust and faith. And I have yet to be led wrong. When I finally decided (and meant it) that the train stops and no more will I be a prisoner to the things that torture our minds, my life shifted. Only we can free ourselves is what I realized. It’s only us that get in our own way to stop from touching the soil of the promised land. To understand these lessons and come to these realizations is truly a personal journey. You have to know that although people have opinions, only you and your Higher Self truly knows what’s best for you. And you must get to the point that you know this in a very matter fact way.
So what exactly does want not waste not mean? I’m a country girl who speaks country slang thanks to my beautiful angel Nonny-my grandmother. She would say the most outrageous things yet I would grow to understand just what she meant. When my cousin Gloria came to visit me on this day of this picture-she used the same words! That let me know two things: clearly these words have been passed from our ancestors and still live in our current dialect and two-the energy of The Divine is truly real and if our hearts call on it, the energy shows up. About 40 minutes before Gloria arrived, I was having a silent praise session in my heart. To the point tears were flowing. I was expressing a heart full of gratitude for how far The Most High has helped me come and how much I’ve overcame. I looked at my ancestor altar and whispered I love you to Nonny, Lottie and Papa (my great grandparents). I set up my altar with their photos years ago to give them honor and to call upon them for guidance. I’m a firm believer that they continue to send their love and support even when they have passed on. I had said for the second time that day ’I miss my grandma so much’. Then Gloria shows up! So what’s the significance in that? Well she was one of my grandmother‘s favorite nieces and they also share the same birthday. When she showed up I had not immediately realized my grandmother showed up as well. When Gloria did leave though, I realized my grandmother‘s energy was very present and she heard my heart and my call. My cousin and I sat and talked as she shared some life lessons and hands on skills with me!
As she got ready to leave though, her energy shifted and I kid you not it felt as though she shifted into Eska!! She helped me get my gardening area together, cleaned it up and began giving orders of what I needed to do lol! Whenever my grandmother came over she would do the same thing! And when Gloria said-want not waste not I said ‘she’s here’. Nonny would say this all the time. What it basically meant was if you don’t want it, don’t waste find something else to do with it but not throw it away. It truly is a lesson on appreciating what was given to you and to give thanks either return it to the earth or bless another with it. As I watched Gloria sweep, she told me how to arrange my plants and respect the fact that the sun shines it’s beautiful light in the morning in my courtyard making it a great place for nature to thrive. I hadn’t asked her to do anything, she just did it. What’s interesting is that I kept saying I wanted to turn the area into a Mother’s Grove. A mini garden area that paid honor to my ancestors through plants and gardening.
So she gave me homework to do and of course the next day I woke up and immediately got to work. Right before she left she says- now you got some motivation to get this together. It was truly what I needed without realizing it until that moment. I give thanks for the synchronicities of the universe 💞